Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Acknowledging chaplaincy



This week I attended the annual dedication service for aged care chaplains. About 30 chaplains, working for aged care organisations in WA, gathered for a special service to acknowledge and support their work.

All of Baptistcare's 11 chaplains (see picture above) from the Perth metropolitan area, Rockingham and Mandurah, Manjimup, Busselton and Margaret River, Albany and Brookton attended the dedication service.

Chaplains serve a unique and significant role within Baptistcare.

They play an important part in helping us to fulfil the holistic nature of our mission, that is to achieve the spiritual, emotional and physical wellbeing of individuals, families and communities.

One of the unique aspects of chaplaincy that differs from much of the traditional services within the aged and community services, is the ministry of presence. While much of what we do is "doing", the chaplain can make a difference in people's lives by "being".

They are able to offer the peace and presence of God by being with people in times of grief and hardship, listening to people's hurts, their anger, their fears and their doubts, not necessarily answering their questions, but giving them permission to share their innermost thoughts.

To those who serve as chaplains and pastoral carers within Baptistcare, including those volunteers who support the chaplains in their role, we thank you.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

What are your regrets?

As we get older it isn't unusual to look back on our lives and consider the great things that have happened to us, and at the same time ponder those things that we wish hadn't occurred.

As an organisation that supports people who have many years behind them, it is helpful for us to understand those regrets and help people (as well as ourselves) deal with these regrets so that we may live the rest of our lives in hope rather than regret.

An article from the UK Guardian tells of the work done by an Australian nurse who recorded the most common regrets of the dying. There weren't too many surprises.

Wednesday 1 February 2012 11.49
A palliative nurse has recorded the top five regrets of the dying. There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. And among the top, from men in particular, is 'I wish I hadn't worked so hard'.

Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years working in palliative care, caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a blog called Inspiration and Chai, which gathered so much attention that she put her observations into a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision that people gain at the end of their lives, and how we might learn from their wisdom. "When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
"Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."


Susie Steiner
guardian.co.uk,